Its the most wonderful time of the year dec 2013

Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer. Focus with me on some thoughts please. You are rushing and maybe feeling overwhelmed about the to do list that morphs into enormous sizes...someone is stressing and stretching their money further than any dollar should be stretched just to see food on the table and blankets on the beds for their children.
Yes this is the time for families and friends to have as many random parties as they can think of....and more, like ugly  sweater parties, dirty Santa, ornament exchange, cookie exchange, white elephant... just to name a few.
I love to help people who truly need it. Not just lazy people looking for a handout. I love to randomly pass kindness around.
It's painful experiences in my own life that have really sparked my desire to spread the kindness and a little love around.
For the mother, having a long day with never ending diapers and constant bickering between the babies...a smile and I'm so proud of you for choosing to be a Momma.
For the family, secretly in pain, financial distress, ect... I can pray. God can send someone to meet the needs.
I heard a song called clear the stage the other day. A friend posted about it on instagram... so I Googled it. *you.totally.need.to.Google.it* amazing song
I wanna live like that. Like Jesus is enough and everything... because He is. I truly long to point others to Christ in all I say and in all I do.
#daily.Clear.my.stage.for.Jesus.

Random thoughts dump day

*I like looking at beautiful homes filled with beautiful things, and yet I love my very own home...filled with abundant family love.
*I once wanted to jump at the beach... on a bungee jump.
*I love memories.
*I am the type of girl that pushes when the doors clearly say pull.
*I try way too hard to please others.
*I hurt every day.
*sometimes I feel so sad it feels like a large rock is on me...keeping me from getting out of my bed.
*I'm silly at totally random moments.
*I have the mind of an adhd preschooler ha
*I love smores
*I love bonfires.
*Snuggling by our fireplace is one of my favorite places to be
*Sometimes I just keep things that are bothering all to myself, because I don't want to be a whiner.
*I am thankful for salvation.
*I've learned that things are not always what they seem.
*Objects in the rear view mirror really are closer than they appear. True.story.
*I love cooking, and baking.
*I enjoy causing people to smile.
*I try my best, and pray for God's help, so that I keep quiet when it's appropriate and speak to point others toward him when appropriate. *I really like gummy bears.
*pancakes are amazing delicious
*I love Christmas,  and Thanksgiving is my favorite.
*I enjoy writing.
*I enjoy delivering surprises of kindness.
*I love my church.
*I like to thrift shop hunt.
*I love bubble baths.
*I wish my family all lived closer together.
*those Christmas cards. Luv.
*target. Ya know?
*I like old fashioned traditions.
*I do not like changes.
*I play games on my phone way too much.
*sweet potatoes, baked,  with butter and syrup... heavenly
*I like taking pictures.
I would love to be able to twinkle my nose and my house turn super clean...ya know...like bewitched...
*I once wanted to be a go go girl. I had NO idea what they were...just liked how the lights blinked around the signs that advertised them. Ugh
*my back hurts a lot  more than I say.
*I would drop just about anything if a friend needs me.

Words 2 warm our hearts

We can't all be shining examples, but we can at least twinkle a little.
                        ~•~
This I learned from the shadow of a tree, that to and fro did sway against a wall, our shadows ourselves, our influence,  May fall where we ourselves can never be. Anna Hamilton
                        ~•~
If we learn to give of ourselves,  forgive others, and to live with Thanksgiving,  we need not seek happiness,  it will seek us.
                         ~•~
Most of the people I know who have what I want - which is to say, purpose, heart, balance, gratitude, joy - are people with a deep spirituality.... they are part of something beautiful.  Anne Lamott
                          ~•~

Happy Thanksgiving Mr Turkey

So I'm totally gonna just type whatever I think. So expect a ton of random.
Thanksgiving is here...ready it not. I am not, actually.  Paige and Doug have started the meal prep for me. It's Ham, dressing, rutabegers, cabbage,  corn on cob, Collards, California mix veggies, rolls, yummy...
So the kids are trying to decide where they want to put you the tree. Big living room...full of exercise equipment,  and toys... but window facing road....OR...back little living room, fireplace, couch and chairs, window facing woods. I want it in the back little room....we shall see who wins the argument...Sisi or Bubba.
Boiled peanuts are the perfect appetizers ever.
my crowns came off when I sneezed. Yes I look like a monster. It hurts... and will be interesting trying not to swallow them while I eat.
Doug is diabetic...makes Thanksgiving cooking tricky.
Boys were harassing our dogs by popping balloons.... I swear they thought they were shooting them.
I love still being in my PJ's.
My fuzzy blanket is my favorite.
I might have eaten a few of the chocolate chip cookies in their dough form.
I bought gingerbread,  pumpkin pie, and apple spice plug ins and I plugged them in. Doug let me. Bonus!!
there are mice in here....somebody let our cats in for Thanksgiving dinner...catch it while you can.
I get to keep kaynen tonight!
Boys are driving me insane. Certifiably!!
I think Valium would totally be nice today.
I am so glad I'm not Christmas shopping at all yet...I'm waiting for December (;
my heater is my bff.
Kids played in the dogs water bowl this morning... because it was frozen.
Devotions....talk and die...move and I will touch your rear end with my belt. Shut up and listen to the Bible you big mouth nincompoops!
ha...It's a great Day!

Especially for the Turkey we let live.... not so much for the pig we gonna eat. All's fair in love and war tho...so It's good!

random thoughts

I woke up cold this morning.  It was still dark outside. Immediately,  I call out to my husband, and ask him to turn on the heater. He did. He's awesome like that.
I had a message from a friend last night. A voicemail. Apparently she called about five minutes after the school called yet again about the yearbook sale or the games...and so I never checked the voicemail.  She called me today. Bonus...we get to keep her baby overnight!!! 
Parvo struck our house...again...we lost another puppy. Got the other one on meds. I hate barf.
Bought chicken for the fellowship meeting after church. Got a pizza for immediate consumption... got busy and ended up actually forgetting to eat....again.
It's dark when I come to work now. Thanks to the fall back time change. Saw a shooting star. Made me smile. Saw the deer under Mr J's pear tree...there are a couple of bucks. I heard them grunt sort of...when I took copper out to potty.
I'm hungry. It's almost ten. Ugh.

Slinky kinda days

It's easy to assume you know what a person is thinking. It's easy to believe someone else can just do it. It's easy to make cute little sunshine filled comments to people who are down in the dumps.
It's hard to be down in the dumps. It's hard to live with a chronic illness. It's hard to have your whole world turned upside down. It's hard to hear the sunshine filled cute little comments when you just need a hug or even acknowledgement that the trial is real. It's hard to hear comments about missing you in church when you are just trying to breathe.
I can not imagine going one more second alone, and I.am.so.very.glad.Jesus.still. believes.in.me. I'm so glad I have lived thru these things because it has painfully opened my eyes to how smiles and cheer filled comments are not always the balm needed to ease some of the pain.
Though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, thou art with me. Psalm 23
When you walk through the dark, it is a scary thing, it doesn't mean you are impossibly lost, it means you need a flashlight. I just want to be that flashlight... for someone in the dark. I want Jesus to use my pain and my tears and all of the guilty feelings of complaining every time I try to talk about my family or our life.
Only.God.knows.  I never imagined what it meant to be deeply depressed before. I never understood the pain of the misconceptions people have toward an unwilling person in pain. It's so easy to assume you know why...when in reality ...I don't know why. I just know it's hard to breathe in suffocating circumstances.  I also know it's scary being alone in the dark. It's terrible to feel like you can't explain to ANYONE exactly how you really feel or especially what all you are living through because it's just to much like being a whiny baby...or the person you avoid because they list everything that's wrong with them...in.detail.
When it is the hardest thing you've ever done to get out of bed. It's incredibly hard to get ready... to.go.anywhere.  It's excruciating to meet family and friends because you have no idea how to answer that neverending question of...how are you...or even worse....how is your husband.
I can remember when I could not imagine the things I live with everyday. I sure miss those times of happy blissful ignorance... cause this pain...this neverending
....solitude...well it's the hardest thing I've ever known. I am so glad I do have Jesus! I would not even want to breathe another second without him.
This is my life. As good, as bad, and as ugly as it gets...I have a heaven to gain and a hell to shun.
Sometimes it's the little things that cut the deepest.
Miss you......I'm hearing you need to pray through and get yourself back to church every service......I'm just trying to survive from second to second. I'm just trying to figure out how I can breathe.
I cannot stop. I cannot ever stop... because I have my precious husband who needs me to love and support him...and I have our three blessings from God who need me to help them to keep breathing... because the pain is greater.... but I have to keep reminding myself and all of them...that Godis.greater.

God has our backs. The battle is His and victory is sweet.

No, I do not feel victorious, but I dare to believe my Savior, my redeemer, my best friend....my father in heaven...Jesus!

I also think about how many times little comments cause me the most pain...and the person who said it doesn't have any idea how painful it is...and I pray that I don't use words to hurt...I pray I use words that only uplift my Savior... I pray I use words to point everyone to Jesus.

Sigh....OK I'm done with the soapbox....for now.....next......

Monday Mini-thoughts (:

Today I thought about friends. Everyone has friends. There are different types of friends, and I can choose which type of friend I will be.
Fun time friend: there with bells on ready to play. If problems arise they are quick to say ...see you later.
Crowd pleaser: one of the crowd. When the crowd leaves you behind...so does this friend.
Religious friend: is your friend but only if you attend their church and live the way they do.
Garbage man friend: always there for you to hear all the garbage they have in their landfill minds.
Forever friends: are there for you in the good, the bad, and especially in the ugly. They help when needed and give you space when needed. Years may pass between meetings...but these friends can pick up right where they left off.

I wanna be a forever friend.  The Bible says the way to have a friend is to be one.
When I become the type of friend I so long for...God will bless me with the right forever friends. He's awesome like that!

Wordless Wednesday

Autumn is here

As long as I can remember,  I have loved the season of Autumn most. It's not that I don't love the other seasons, it's more that most of My favorite memories occurred in Autumn.
As a young girl, I would play the mash game and imagine a variety of children with a variety of names. I had the homes all decorated and the yards planned. Just had to wait for the husband. Lol One of the name I have always loved is Shiloh Autumn... now it is still a romantic favorite of mine...but never a realistic suggestion. It seems too flower childish to me for realistic use. Lol
I love raking the leaves up into piles and jumping in them. I love bonfires with Gordian and smores... especially sticky marshmallow roasted to perfection. I love candy corn and those little candy pumpkins. I love Carmel apples and pumpkin everything.  I love pumpkin farms and mums. I love sweaters and hayrides with lots of cuddles and singing as loudly as possible. I love doing these things and more...especially when I do them with people I LOVE. I think that is the key...My family and friends gave me My precious Autumn memories...and I look forward to making many more memories this year!!!

Books i have loved

Oh my goodness. That's soooo aggravating.  I had one of my best blogs yet...almost finished...and my phone deleted it. #welldonephone#dumbphone

Perfect love casteth out fear

I have discovered that I fear many more things than I realized.  When I initially hear the word Fear, I am thinking snakes, spiders, villans from scary stories, (I am not even going to begin the spiritual side of fears). These things are scary,  don't get me wrong, and yet I have found other fears, even greater in their life impact. Mental games scare me. When people use the human emotions like toys most definitely scares me.
I am so thankful that the only perfect love is from Jesus and that when We have him as our Savior,  His love becomes a part of us.
Perfect love casteth out fear.
All.fear.
Jesus enables us to show His love and He casts out our fears.
Thank God.
I have had family say the words "I love you" and those family members had strings attached. It is like they should have said "I love you if... " or "I love you unless..."
Jesus has the only love without strings.
He shares His love with His followers. I have found that people who follow Him freely share their love with others...the love Jesus shared with them.
I am amazed at the way the stories of our lives unfold. My life is unfolding like a flower quickly fading, and as long as I keep Him first, the final ending of my story will be great.
It is so very precious that Jesus takes the time to be mindful of me. My wants. My hearts desires. When I realize He has fulfilled a desire of my heart, and covered my pain with His perfect love, and in His perfect way, it astonishes me.
I can see His handiwork in my life as I travel the avenues of my memory.  I can see His handiwork in my daily life.
I can never Thank Him enough. 
So if you are a part of my life, I count you as a very specific blessing, a very intricate gift, from Jesus and for you I am thankful.
No matter how many seconds or how many years We have known each other, I know God has given us each other as a part of His precious plan for our lives. He used you to cast out some of my fears. Thanks(:

Eagle

I love to read!!! Karen Kingsbury is one of the many authors I enjoy most. In her book, A Time To Dance, she writes about eagles. I lobe this quote...

  When the female knows a male is interested, she leads him on a chase through the skies, swooping and diving and soaring high above the hills.  When the chase is nearly over, she flies as high as she can and flips over onto her back, free-falling toward the ground.  It is the male's job to place his body over hers and grasp her talons, flapping his wings with all his might to keep her from certain death.  Moments before they hit the ground, the female pulls out of the dive and circles the male. Because he had been willing to stay even unto death, he will have proven himself as a mate. The eagles are joined for life from that point on.

Absolutely amazing analogy of how a Christian marriage should be.

Confessions of a bookworm

Hello. My name is Kay Kay, and I am a bookaholic. It has been almost sixteen hours since my last book. I also have read several blogposts and news articles in the last hour or so. I have already decided which book I will allow to tempt me next. (0: Heart of the Lonely Exile , by BJ Hoff. I read books anytime and anywhere. The other afternoon, my family took a walk to the pond behind our house so we could fish, explore the woods, and even wade in the little creek. I read a book after my youngest son and I explored and waded. The.entire.book.
So now you know. It is such a lovely obsession to confess, isn't it? What books are you reading? They say confession is good for the soul...yes it is!! (:
Happy endings!!

Groundhog

So we are supposed to have an early spring? Believeable, when we had near about summer weather around new years. Not so believeable today, we have temps in the 40s and it feels like its freezing to me(: Just can't beat this crazy Alabama weather!!!

It is well with my soul

The only real peace that I have dear Lord is in You!! Thanks for always being there Jesus! Thanks for being my refuge and shelter from the storms. Thanks for providing me with the tools and knowledge I need to complete each season of life as I live it. More of you and less of me.

I'm having a fast project

For one month I will pray and read Gods word instead of use Facebook for any reason. I want to hear from God in some areas.of my life and I believe.he has my answer. I wanna be doing my part in obedience to reach my goal the answer. @bamapixie

I'm having a fast project

For one month I will pray and read Gods word instead of use Facebook for any reason. I want to hear from God in some areas.of my life and I believe.he has my answer. I wanna be doing my part in obedience to reach my goal otlf the answer. @bamapixie

When my world turned upsidedown

I love my job! I elder-sit with a dear sweet 92 yr old man named Mr James. He is so very polite, kind, and a great man. Most of the time, his mind is sharp and he has lovely memories to share. Occasionally, his mind fogs up and he doesn't know where he is. Sad.
Mr James is a fairly tall man, so his recliner was hard for him to get in and out of. His son modified it by setting the recliner on two pieces of 2x4s. This enabled Mr James to easily rise up out of that chair.
One evening, Mr James said he dropped a pill, so we looked everywhere. I moved the furniture around and all, still couldn't find the pill. We finished the evening as usual, with him in his chair watching the waltons. The next morning, while he finished his breakfast, I put his shoes on the end table beside his chair for him, and sat down to call his daughter to report how the night went. Just as I sat down, the chair slipped off those boards, and flipped backwards. My back was on the ground, my feet in the air, and a floor lamp had crashed and broken on top of me. Ugh. At least the bookshelf didn't come down on me also(:
I'm glad Mr James wasn't in the chair when it happened. That chair had been that way for the entire year I've worked there, without a problem. Leave it to me!! Lol
Oh.my.back(:

Wassup

It's been real.
As Forest Gump said, That's all I have to say about that. (:
My goodness, time is swiftly passing by isn't it? I cannot believe the second semester has begun and spring is quickly approaching. Easter will be here soon and SpRiNg BrEaK! Oh my goodness...life is like a merry go round. Faster and faster...and then it stops.
I want days to remember with smiles and laughter. Friends and family. Pictures. Reunions. Love.
Kids are growing up so fast. All made A/B honor roll(; yay! Dd got her Beta club certificate and pin, and her Spanish 1 pin...oh that big event will be here before I know it. Ugh.
Ds will graduate 6th grade. They took cap n gown pics. (:
Baby ds is reading up a storm, loving Amelia Bedelia and Frog and Toad are Friends. (:

Here's to life...serving Jesus has the best rewards! Follow Him!