A time for thanks

It's been a little shocking in our lives lately, the number of days my husband had to stay in the hospital after a mini stroke was twenty four. The number of outpatient therapy days he will have to participate in before full release will be about twenty four. The number of times I've sighed in frustration and muttered "really?!?!" Has been almost immeasurable. 
I dropped Doug off at his outpatient therapy Friday, and went by lifeway Christian so I could return something for a client...I glanced in the devotional isle and spotted a double book with one thousand gifts and the devotional all in one cover.  I accepted the challenge to make a list of one thousand things I love. 
The book suggests I write down all the recent life events and search for a reason to be thankful for it. #kindofabigdealformerightnowactually
I will try to see the Lords grace and mercy. I do trust Him.

Here goes........

Life event #1 Doug suffered from his first mini stroke which resulted in a chemical imbalance in the bed iou n and his long term hospital stay of twenty four days.
*hmmmm, well I have definitely been more appreciative of Doug and about having him here at home every night. It's very unsettling to suddenly be a single mom of three and be alone every night in the country and have to get them up and off to school while getting myself ready for work so I can leave by six and them load bus by six thirty. Stressed is one word. Yet I can look back and see how God held me throughout this time and guided me every day and every night to navigate our routes to work and school and then to visit Doug everyday. I Love my family and I am reminded of the fact that through all the stress of his hospitalization... he is still alive....he is still with us....and most of all he came home with us! I do Love my husband and I am so thankful he is still here. He is physically sick and suffers damage from the stroke...but he is home with us and I am truly grateful for that!
Wow, that really wasn't as bad as I thought. (:

Day 1Random Act of Kindness

Today's rak was to let someone go before you in line. When I did this, the recipient couldn't believe I would willingly ask her to please go first. We were both smileing. It was definitely a successful RAK! Thanks to the blog coffee cups and crayons (:

First day in Daniel diet

I'm not a very good person at keeping on any schedule for very long. I like spontaneity a lot! My husband went on the Daniel fast a few months ago and did really well. Of course he did, cause everyone knows men loose weight quicker than women. Well somehow, I found myself agreeing to start the diet with him today. We decided to start last night. (: if there's one way I can sideswipe my poor diet history, it's to suddenly sneak into beginning a diet. 

First thing I usually get in the morning is caffeine. I woke up and headed into the kitchen, fully aware I could no longer have coke (not even diet ) or coffee or even tea. I decided on flavored water with caffeine. I opened it up and as I took my first swallow my husband says, what are u drinking? I say, flavored water! He says you aren't supposed to have it cause of the artificial flavors! WhAt?!?!?! Confession: I drank that bottle of water and it was SO GOOD! 

I stopped on the way into town and got me a bottle of unsweetened 100%juice and a bag of cashews. I was proud I stuck to the plan! 

In town I got 2 bags of sunflower seeds and more 100%juice. I stopped at mcDonalds for a salad. I chose the southwest and got my chicken on the side (I'm not including meat and supplement with beans and other proteins along with vitamins). I got the Italian dressing because I didn't know if the southwest dressing was milk based or not and the cashier had no idea. I came home and shared the salad with Doug (seriously) and I am full for the moment! We shall see how long I can last this time!!! Pray for me! 

Are you a worn out woman???

Here is a quiz I found in the book "the worn out woman" by dr Steven Stephens and Alice Gray:

Take the temperature of your life when it comes to stress overload!

Read thru the list and check off each item you have experienced more than once in the past week.

-you get irritable or impatient over little things

-you have a hard time getting to sleep or staying asleep

-you seem overly emotional

-your body sometimes feels so wound up that you can't relax

-you think, if I can just get thru this, then I'm going to do some things I really want to do

-you get frustrated at how forgetful you are

-you are easily distracted, even from things you enjoy

-your friends say you are moody

-you run out of energy before the day is done

-you find it hard to make definite decisions or to stick to them once they are made

-you get fed up when things take longer than you plan

-you find yourself eating when u really aren't hungry

-you avid spending g time with family or friends because they just take too much energy

-you feel like nothing sounds fun or exciting

-you enjoy the adrenaline rush of last minute deadlines

-you are not working up to your normal ability

-you find that worry distracts you from reaching your goals

-you have trouble delegating tasks because you think you can so them better

If u checked....     Your stress level is probably.....

1-6.                       Mild to moderate -be careful

7-12                      Serious- May need to make some changes

13-18.                    Severe-get help now!!!

The worn out woman

I am beginning a book devotional. "The worn out woman" by dr Steve Stephens and Alice Gray. 

I thought I would share some of the things from my reading.

  I am worn to a raveling. -Beatrix Potter

Comments shared by women at a retreat about their personal weariness and frustrations :

*most days I feel overwhelmed

*i want to run away and start over

*ive wished my life away

*i hardly experience intimate or tender moments with The Lord 

*my days are filled with things I don't want to do

*when I read the bible it's out of habit rather than desire

*the joy and excitement are gone

*i wake up feeling discouraged

*ive taken on responsibilities that I never wanted

*i feel like I'm missing me but maybe it's God I'm missing

I can totally relate to each of these comments. The stresses from the battles in my mind are cAusing me extreme physical disabilities and it is getting worse. I really have to let go and let God but I am not sure how to totally surrender. I desire to practice forgiveness until I see no offense in my offenders and yet that is a very very hard thing to actually do!

I am sick of "race-pace" mode!!

I want balance!

The worn out woman has many sisters! 

We believe no one can unclutter her life without uncluttering her heart as well. 

I want to dig deeper into why I feel worn out!

I'm going to take the love that comes my way and hold on to it for dear life. Sometimes we don't need new scenery, just new eyes. - dawn miller

There is hope !!!

Diabetes rocked our world

It was always something we took for granted, all of us being able to eat whatever we wanted. It wasn't something we thought about. We planned our meals from the many cook books I own and ate accordingly. Happy happy joy joy then wham!!! Mr Faulk you are diabetic!!! Delivered just like the death sentance we believed the words to be. 

We had heard of diabetes and I knew someone who had diabetes and couldn't eat chocolate. Where do we go from here? 

Our doctor is a specialist in diabetes. He told us to fill the prescription meds and blood sugar monitor and attend the diabetic class's when the hospital representative called to schedule them. He told us with proper exercise and diet modification that Doug could possibly return to regular blood sugar levels. 

What does that mean??? We googled diabetes and became more terrified as we tried to plow through the very large volume of information about diabetes. Friends who knew someone with diabetes tried giving advice, and we did appreciate it, but really we just needed to figure out what we had to do. What changes did we need to make?? 

We didn't make any. Seriously. The results weren't too amazing either. Doug slipped into bed because he couldn't eat like we had been, and the high blood sugar made him irritable and sleepy, combined with his narcolepsy and sleep apnea and he was exhausted ! His restrictive lung disease causes his lungs to function similar to an 80 year old man, and so any exercise left him so out of breath it made him miserable. He remained in bed almost three weeks. He gained weight. Very very bad facts for any diabetic. 

I remembered his cousin telling us about the Daniel fast , so I looked it up! I bought two books about it without Doug's knowledge and then just came into our room and woke him up!! I read the idea of the Daniel fast and several testimonials. He agreed to try it .. After all... We were desperate!! 

He basically could only have fruit and vegetables for 21days. Sounds simple but oh it was not!!! We researched recipes to complement the Daniel fast And little by little ... He began to shed inches in the belly and face. He began exercising 30 minutes on our elliptical. Five minutes at a time spread out during the day! It worked for us!!! 

We did attend the diabetic classes, he had two weeks remaining on the Daniel fast. We learned a lot, and Doug decided to finish the 21 days then combine the Daniel fast menu and the diabetic menus to form his own modified diet. Praise The Lord!!! It is working!! His bible reading and prayer life has at least doubled and his pounds are shrinking off at a very steady and safe pace!!! 

We give God the praise because we know that all the knowledge for the proper way to diet came from Him, and I am so thankful He directs our lives so perfectly!!! 

Grapevines

When I hear the word grapevine...my first thought is about the song...I heard it through the grapevine.  I also think about the plant, but not first of all.
When I was a kid, we played grapevine games...rumor.. where one child says a phrase whispered into anthers ear.. down the line until the end result is usually hilarious.
Lately I have been guilty of self inflicted solitary confinement. Where I keep to myself and don't want to bother anyone cause everyone seems so stressed and I don't want to add to their stress.  Now if someone needs me...No matter how stressed I am...I want to be there for them. I don't know why it's so hard for me to allow others to be there for me.
I want to be a better family member and a better friend. I want to keep in touch better and share the everyday things we do. The smiles and the tears.
Lord, let it begin with me.

Moments.org

As strong as I try so very hard to be, I cannot escape the deepest pain. The pain of rejection ,unreasonable rejection. All my life I have tried to Please people, the very most important people I tried to Please are my family. My birth dad has rejected me and for the life of me I can not explain that pain away. There is No excuse for disowning any one especially the ones God blessed you with to love and to cherish all their lives.
Tonight, I sit with Mr j. He is the most loving dad I have ever had the privilege to be around. He is so very concerned about his children, even though he is 93, and growing weak, he still cares about his children and how they are.
God.knew.my.pain...even before I realized how deeply it affected me. He provided the most wonderful people to be there for me, not to replace my birth parents, but to stand in the gap. These people are third for me because they choose to be. My husband. Can't imagine life without him. My children, God gave us the best. My in laws...treat me like their own daughter. My Momma and my Gran Dan, have been there for me even when I can't return their visits. Oh how very big of a blessing just knowing they care is. .... knowing they love me.
I place that knowledge in my mind daily,  and the knowledge of their love....pushes back the deep pain and makes life bearable. Well beyond bearable, my loved ones make life a blessing.  For that I am eternally greatful.
God has so abundantly blessed me with those who choose to love me, and now I pray He helps me to show His love to others. I wanna keep my light shining and I won't let Satan blow it out!

Lord!! These people are driving me crazy!!

That's it! I have had it! Ever heard of the straw that broke the camels back??? Well this straw is one of those cement drainage pipes!!

I keep reminding myself to just breathe. Pray and pray and pray and breathe.

I began pouring my heart out to God. I really didn't hold anything out or unsaid.

Ya know what his response was? How are you Katie?

what? Me? I'm all shook up! I'm grrrrr ya know??

at this point I kinda maybe heard the still small voice suggesting I refocus on me. Ouch.

But they....

Refocus on Katie.

OK Lord. Help me. Then I began writing down things I like and do not like so much about me. Wow.

Honesty really hurts.

It's so much easier to lay blame. To go off on "them" and yet it's not about "them" controlling my thoughts or my actions. I am supposed to give that slot to God. Let him control my thoughts and actions and words.

So pray...pray...breathe...and refocus. Don't let the actions or lack of actions in others consume your thoughts. Refocus on Him. I promise it will make you smile.

My favorites *some.anyway(;

God*salvation.love.Jesus. kisstheson. Foreverreigns. Refuge.forgiveness
Family*Doug.Sisi.Bubba.PearBear.Melita.SpottGunn. LuckyDuck. Momma.GranDan.everyoneElse(;
Church*OmegaHoliness.JackAssembly.NewBrocktonFirstUnitedMethodistCurch.CadizUnitedMethodist.GraceUnitedMethodist
Roots*Perrymac.MaconGa. AuburnAl. CadizKy. AtlantaGa. Germany.PensacolaFl. FtWaltonBeachFl.NewHopeAl. EchoAl
#2infinityandbeyond!!!!