Grapevines

When I hear the word grapevine...my first thought is about the song...I heard it through the grapevine.  I also think about the plant, but not first of all.
When I was a kid, we played grapevine games...rumor.. where one child says a phrase whispered into anthers ear.. down the line until the end result is usually hilarious.
Lately I have been guilty of self inflicted solitary confinement. Where I keep to myself and don't want to bother anyone cause everyone seems so stressed and I don't want to add to their stress.  Now if someone needs me...No matter how stressed I am...I want to be there for them. I don't know why it's so hard for me to allow others to be there for me.
I want to be a better family member and a better friend. I want to keep in touch better and share the everyday things we do. The smiles and the tears.
Lord, let it begin with me.

Moments.org

As strong as I try so very hard to be, I cannot escape the deepest pain. The pain of rejection ,unreasonable rejection. All my life I have tried to Please people, the very most important people I tried to Please are my family. My birth dad has rejected me and for the life of me I can not explain that pain away. There is No excuse for disowning any one especially the ones God blessed you with to love and to cherish all their lives.
Tonight, I sit with Mr j. He is the most loving dad I have ever had the privilege to be around. He is so very concerned about his children, even though he is 93, and growing weak, he still cares about his children and how they are.
God.knew.my.pain...even before I realized how deeply it affected me. He provided the most wonderful people to be there for me, not to replace my birth parents, but to stand in the gap. These people are third for me because they choose to be. My husband. Can't imagine life without him. My children, God gave us the best. My in laws...treat me like their own daughter. My Momma and my Gran Dan, have been there for me even when I can't return their visits. Oh how very big of a blessing just knowing they care is. .... knowing they love me.
I place that knowledge in my mind daily,  and the knowledge of their love....pushes back the deep pain and makes life bearable. Well beyond bearable, my loved ones make life a blessing.  For that I am eternally greatful.
God has so abundantly blessed me with those who choose to love me, and now I pray He helps me to show His love to others. I wanna keep my light shining and I won't let Satan blow it out!

Lord!! These people are driving me crazy!!

That's it! I have had it! Ever heard of the straw that broke the camels back??? Well this straw is one of those cement drainage pipes!!

I keep reminding myself to just breathe. Pray and pray and pray and breathe.

I began pouring my heart out to God. I really didn't hold anything out or unsaid.

Ya know what his response was? How are you Katie?

what? Me? I'm all shook up! I'm grrrrr ya know??

at this point I kinda maybe heard the still small voice suggesting I refocus on me. Ouch.

But they....

Refocus on Katie.

OK Lord. Help me. Then I began writing down things I like and do not like so much about me. Wow.

Honesty really hurts.

It's so much easier to lay blame. To go off on "them" and yet it's not about "them" controlling my thoughts or my actions. I am supposed to give that slot to God. Let him control my thoughts and actions and words.

So pray...pray...breathe...and refocus. Don't let the actions or lack of actions in others consume your thoughts. Refocus on Him. I promise it will make you smile.

My favorites *some.anyway(;

God*salvation.love.Jesus. kisstheson. Foreverreigns. Refuge.forgiveness
Family*Doug.Sisi.Bubba.PearBear.Melita.SpottGunn. LuckyDuck. Momma.GranDan.everyoneElse(;
Church*OmegaHoliness.JackAssembly.NewBrocktonFirstUnitedMethodistCurch.CadizUnitedMethodist.GraceUnitedMethodist
Roots*Perrymac.MaconGa. AuburnAl. CadizKy. AtlantaGa. Germany.PensacolaFl. FtWaltonBeachFl.NewHopeAl. EchoAl
#2infinityandbeyond!!!!

Its the most wonderful time of the year dec 2013

Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer. Focus with me on some thoughts please. You are rushing and maybe feeling overwhelmed about the to do list that morphs into enormous sizes...someone is stressing and stretching their money further than any dollar should be stretched just to see food on the table and blankets on the beds for their children.
Yes this is the time for families and friends to have as many random parties as they can think of....and more, like ugly  sweater parties, dirty Santa, ornament exchange, cookie exchange, white elephant... just to name a few.
I love to help people who truly need it. Not just lazy people looking for a handout. I love to randomly pass kindness around.
It's painful experiences in my own life that have really sparked my desire to spread the kindness and a little love around.
For the mother, having a long day with never ending diapers and constant bickering between the babies...a smile and I'm so proud of you for choosing to be a Momma.
For the family, secretly in pain, financial distress, ect... I can pray. God can send someone to meet the needs.
I heard a song called clear the stage the other day. A friend posted about it on instagram... so I Googled it. *you.totally.need.to.Google.it* amazing song
I wanna live like that. Like Jesus is enough and everything... because He is. I truly long to point others to Christ in all I say and in all I do.
#daily.Clear.my.stage.for.Jesus.

Random thoughts dump day

*I like looking at beautiful homes filled with beautiful things, and yet I love my very own home...filled with abundant family love.
*I once wanted to jump at the beach... on a bungee jump.
*I love memories.
*I am the type of girl that pushes when the doors clearly say pull.
*I try way too hard to please others.
*I hurt every day.
*sometimes I feel so sad it feels like a large rock is on me...keeping me from getting out of my bed.
*I'm silly at totally random moments.
*I have the mind of an adhd preschooler ha
*I love smores
*I love bonfires.
*Snuggling by our fireplace is one of my favorite places to be
*Sometimes I just keep things that are bothering all to myself, because I don't want to be a whiner.
*I am thankful for salvation.
*I've learned that things are not always what they seem.
*Objects in the rear view mirror really are closer than they appear. True.story.
*I love cooking, and baking.
*I enjoy causing people to smile.
*I try my best, and pray for God's help, so that I keep quiet when it's appropriate and speak to point others toward him when appropriate. *I really like gummy bears.
*pancakes are amazing delicious
*I love Christmas,  and Thanksgiving is my favorite.
*I enjoy writing.
*I enjoy delivering surprises of kindness.
*I love my church.
*I like to thrift shop hunt.
*I love bubble baths.
*I wish my family all lived closer together.
*those Christmas cards. Luv.
*target. Ya know?
*I like old fashioned traditions.
*I do not like changes.
*I play games on my phone way too much.
*sweet potatoes, baked,  with butter and syrup... heavenly
*I like taking pictures.
I would love to be able to twinkle my nose and my house turn super clean...ya know...like bewitched...
*I once wanted to be a go go girl. I had NO idea what they were...just liked how the lights blinked around the signs that advertised them. Ugh
*my back hurts a lot  more than I say.
*I would drop just about anything if a friend needs me.

Words 2 warm our hearts

We can't all be shining examples, but we can at least twinkle a little.
                        ~•~
This I learned from the shadow of a tree, that to and fro did sway against a wall, our shadows ourselves, our influence,  May fall where we ourselves can never be. Anna Hamilton
                        ~•~
If we learn to give of ourselves,  forgive others, and to live with Thanksgiving,  we need not seek happiness,  it will seek us.
                         ~•~
Most of the people I know who have what I want - which is to say, purpose, heart, balance, gratitude, joy - are people with a deep spirituality.... they are part of something beautiful.  Anne Lamott
                          ~•~